The Emotional Rollercoaster: Supporting Your Team Through the Mourning Curve

If you are one of the lucky ones and you have the chance to lead a team as a manager, it's essential to know how to help your people deal with emotions during difficult situations. Whether it's the loss of a colleague, a difficult project, or a company restructuring, emotions can run high, and it's important to know how to support your team through the grieving process.

One of our favorite models that we often tend to discuss in training programs with participants struggling with emotions within the team dynamics, is the Mourning Curve.

This psychological model describes the different stages of grief and how individuals can move through them. In this piece you will get to explore these different stages and get ideas and tips on how to navigate through them with your team members.

From Denial to Acceptance: Exploring the Stages of the Mourning Curve

The Mourning Curve, also known as the Grief Curve or the Kubler-Ross model, was developed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (“On Death and Dying, 1969). It's a model that describes the emotional stages individuals go through when they experience a loss or difficult situation.

Let’s take a look at the stages of the mourning curve:

1. Denial
   Individuals in this phase of the mourning curve may refuse to believe that the loss or difficult situation has occurred. They may feel shock, numbness, or disbelief.
2. Anger
   In this stage, people may feel angry, frustrated, or resentful. They may feel that the situation is unfair or unjust and have intense reactions.
3. Bargaining
   In the third stage of the mourning curve, individuals may try to negotiate with themselves or others to find a way out of the situation. They may feel that if they do certain things or make certain changes, the situation will improve.
4. Depression
   At this point, those inside the mourning curve may feel sad, lonely, or hopeless. They may feel a sense of loss or a lack of control.
5. Acceptance
   In this stage, individuals come to terms with the situation. They may feel a sense of peace or resolution, and they may be able to move on.
   
   It's important to note that not everyone will experience these stages in the same way, or even in the same order. Some individuals may move back and forth between stages, while others may skip stages altogether.
   
   For instance, it is possible for someone to experience depression before or after bargaining, or for the stages to overlap or occur simultaneously. The stages are not a rigid framework, but rather a tool for understanding and processing grief.

Compassionate Leadership: Strategies for Navigating the Mourning Curve with Your Team

Now that we understand the stages of the Mourning Curve, let's explore how you can help your team navigate through it.

Acknowledge the Situation

The first step in helping your team navigate the Mourning Curve is to acknowledge the situation. Whether it's a downgrade in position, a difficult project or a collaboration with a new manager, it's important to acknowledge the impact it has had or it will have on your team.

Be empathetic and listen to their concerns. Let them know that you are there to support them through this difficult time. This is the time to let the cat out of the bag, be direct and give space for people to come to you and share their thoughts.

Provide Resources

It's important to provide your team with the resources they need to cope with their emotions. This could include counseling services, time off, or access to an employee assistance program.

Encourage your team to use these resources if they need them, and let them know that it's okay to take the time they need to heal (always on logical frameworks and according to your organization's policies). The point here is that healing takes time. Don’t push things and remain empathetic and supportive.

Communicate Frequently

Communication is key when it comes to helping your team navigate the Mourning Curve. Keep them informed about any updates or changes related to the situation, and check in with them regularly to see how they're doing.

Be transparent and honest, and let them know that you're there to support them.

Be Patient

Everyone moves through the Mourning Curve at their own pace. It's important to be patient and understanding, and to allow your team members the time they need to grieve and heal. Don't rush them through the process, and don't expect them to bounce back to normal right away.

Foster a Supportive Environment

Creating a supportive environment is essential when helping your team navigate the Mourning Curve. Encourage team members to support each other and to share their experiences. Foster a culture of empathy and understanding, and make it clear that everyone's emotions are valid.

Through all this process don’t forget to take care of yourself. You might be navigating through the mourning curve yourself. It is crucial to pass the stages yourself prior, otherwise you won’t be able to help others. It is exactly like the oxygen masks on an airplane!

Supporting Your Team Through Tough Times

Understanding and navigating the mourning curve is an essential part of being an effective manager. It requires a delicate balance of emotional intelligence, communication skills, and leadership ability.

By approaching the process with empathy and compassion, and by providing the right support and resources, you can help your team navigate difficult situations and emerge stronger on the other side.

As the great poet Maya Angelou once said, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

So, if you strive to be the kind of manager who makes your team feel supported, cared for, and valued, drop us a line and check our training programs at Business Pathways for more tools and strategies.